Good morning, hello Friday and hi long bank holiday weekend!
You might ask yourself why this article is in English and not German this time - easy answered - it tells the story of #haveabananawithit and this story has its origins in the beautiful South of UK where my loved extended family and tribe lives. Therefore please be mild with any grammar mistakes you´ll find and have fun reading! Cause this one is about fun and humor, altough I´m totally aware of life, with all those pesky moments, isn´t always fun and easy going.
It´s been in November 2016 (oh gosh - time runs!) that I took my brother on a short visit to see the Napper-Why-Clan and it was at this evening dinner at Steven´s beautiful home together with his mum, my friend Mandy, where we exchanged memories over lovely food and wine and came - again - along the story where my mum a couple of years ago offered some "very special" cheese when Steven was over in Austria. You need to know, that my mum always gets very busy offering food and more food, when there are guests in the house. But what to bring to the table when the fridge is empty? Cheese! The one you melt in the oven... Together with a glass of wine (which actually didn´t rescue this fail!) As it was summer we all sat at the table outside on the terrace and chatted. A little time later no one - really no one - could act like he/she wouldn´t smell this very intense odor. This odor intensified inside the house and reached it´s peak in the kitchen. The best before was a very long time ago! It was only my mum who would defend the quality of this delicate cheese: "That´s how it should smell! It´s marvellous!" We all looked at each other, doubtful, but hey, we would try. So, long story told short: The cheese was served with a big "tataaaa", we all had to try... and we all spitted it out. My mum said we were philistines until she tried it too. She spitted like a diva.
We were laughing tears and back to Steven´s table recalling this funny episode we again laughed madly... belly aching laughter!
(Steven was serving this very good, cheesy, hot and melted Camembert - which just smelled and tasted how it should be)... so, Steven, looking at his mum, said, we should have eaten a banana with this awful cheese, that would have saved us from a lot of stomach ache and worse (if we had eaten this catastrophe). "Why a banana?" I asked. So Steven told the story about when he and his siblings were young kids his Mum used to give them the advice to "have a banana with it" when mocking about a yogurt which was a couple of days over the date of expire. The precious ingredients of a banana would prevent any possible ripple effects from expired food. (Well, we all know that a yogurt is still to consume a lot longer than the date of expiry suggests - it´s BEST BEFORE!)
At this point my deep appreciation, love and admiration to Mandy, who, as a single mum too, has taught me so much by being so unapologetically open. She knows the struggle was and is real and by watching her grown up kids, who are all happily married and have kids too, and are amazing people btw, she´s done everything right! And I can totally relate to not trash food which is okay, no matter if you´re short on money or not. But tell your kids when they neither like yogurt nor bananas... anyway, you see the background wasn´t that funny but from this point on, our phantasy was unleashed! We made it a funny story, or maybe the wine and the G&Ts did...
who knows, it doesn´t really matter...
Hey, your moldy yogurt created feet and tries to run away? Doesn´t matter, have a banana with it!
Hey, you slipped and cracked your little toe? (so happened to me) Doesn´t matter, have a banana with it!
Hey, you`re running a talk and no one listens? Have a banana with it.
Your hot tinder date turns out to be an absolute douche bag? (I´m done!) Have a banana with it!
Your kid fails at a test and does not care? Hava a banana with it.
You are tired af and the kitchen looks like a battle field? Have a banana with it.
You know you´re right but nobody cares? Have a banana with it!
You got a new hair colour for 180 € and now you look like Pumuckl? (That happened and the trauma is still here) Have a banana with it.
You desperately want long beachy wavy hair, so you go, get extensions and develop instant exczema and look like a mushroom-jellyfish-orthodox-jew? (You´re right, still need to work on this one) Have a banana with it!
Grumpy? Have a banana with it!
PMS? Have a banana with it!
Tired? Go to sleep. But before, hava a banana with it.
I guess, you got an idea!
On this evening we exchanged stories and whoopsies, we shared experiences and created so much joy and laughter! I`m 100% sure that laughter is the best medicine. One of my most favorite quotes is: "Humor is the button, that prevents our collar from bursting" (Humor ist der Knopf, der verhindert, dass uns der Kragen platzt. Joachim Ringelnatz, comic German author, cabaret artist, died 1934 in Berlin)
We are all more or less masters when it comes to create horror scenaries in our brains, what might go wrong or which injustice is just around the next corner. Working myself through this very stubborn belief "Don´t praise the day before it gets evening" I now know that I created a lot of disappointments by myself. When you expect the worst to happen, the worst things happen. Hello Murphy´s law!
So what if we all concentrated on becoming masters in creating the most beautiful, fun and joyous scenaries? If we utilized the capability of our brains - thanks to neuroplasticity - to create new neuronal highways to a confident, calm and cheerful serenity?
If we actively would first realize we are participants in a dramaturgy and then decided to not participate in the drama, may it be external or internal? If we chose being ok with what is over insisting on the fulfillment of the need of being right about how we think things should be? (What a sentence! :-)) What if we just sit a little while and have a banana with it? Find the funny side? Reflect on our behavior first instead of transforming into judgemental bitches in a glimpse, jumping on every trigger-wagon which passes our path?
I found out that my greatest gift always has been and still is to find the funny parts in tragedies. Not in all of them, but in most of them. And therefore I need to thank my family (original and extended) and especially my mum. With all ups and downs that have shown up we always, always managed to never lose our ability to laugh together.
This is probably why I´m so drawn to humoresque stories. Told and written. They make me feel good. They make me feel alive. They make me shake and giggle and sometimes snort and cry. They have an instant impact on our hormone-household.
When we feel relaxed and at ease, when we laugh and are in a good flexible state, surrounded by people we love and appreciate (so watch out who you´re hanging out with - you become them! Well, not literally, but nearly. You harmonize in behavior, patterns, feelings and so on... thanks to mirror neurons) our body produces serotonin, dopamin, noradrenalin and oxytocin. All these are transmitter substances that help you engage in relationships, motivate you, make you feel lust, joy and satisfaction and make you feel good and sexy in general (thats scientific and based on my own research ;-))
I know that life sometimes throws the real hard stuff on us. The things that make us feel sad, exhausted and desperate. That sort of issues that make us angry, anxious, weak and vulnerable. Nothing and nobody can take those experiences from us or protect us against them to happen. And for those times I hope and wish that you and I are surrounded by your/our tribe. That the people who love you hold your hands when you feel the ugliest, deficient and inadequate. A banana might fail here, no question. But let´s train our ability to laugh together, show compassion, care of each other and just be kind. And decide to take life with its ups and downs not too seriously. So when it comes to peaks of sorrow, we still know, that this too shall pass.
Btw, bananas are well known to delivering tryptophan which in the body turns into serotonin.
Another good reason to have a banana with it!
Okay, there is still one left in the fruit basket and a little yogurt in the fridge. I´ll keep it for the kids ;-)
To my English family, I love you and I hope to see you soon. My belly muscles need a little work out.
Have a banana with it!
Lots of love,